ALICES SUPER HAGGIS-The first wisdom of Godfrey, By Beatrice

He ate it ! He ate it !  Though it looked and smelled like dog food he ate it.He thoght it was Haggis so he ate it. Twas a winter evening young Godfrey stood in his dooryard.Snow on his ruddy cheeks wind blowing cold and hard,snow on his shoulders snow  in his shaggy hair…afraid to go inside knowing it was Tuesday and his sister Alice was  cooking the evening meal in there.

Expecting  torment with beets ,pickled,frozen or hot, it had been a rough day what is she up to now ? Godfrey thought . But Alice was in a rare  jolly mood , no beets to be seen just the warmth of the fire and smell of good food .His cat and dog Barley, just a young pup greeted him and there was  hot, sweet Earl Grey Tea in his cup.

And Godfrey ate it ! He ate it!  with fried onions and tatties he ate it.  With his plate licked clean , nothing for the chicken bin , in the sink he found an empty Tucks Super Dog Food tin, a note  stuck to it in Alice’s scrawled hand  said Yum Tucks Super  Haggis brother dear ate the whole  can.

Upstairs in her room  Alice’s laughter roared, in her chair before the fire his  long suffering mother snored, it had been a rough day then he ate it..

Sister Alice was six years older than Godfrey, she was his greatest tormentor, and also his greatest defender- no one dared tease Godfrey when Alice was near-She had a shrill voice, was far from shy and possessed  an uncanny knack for getting Godfrey to do most anything.

This morning she  told him a long silly tale of how  lemonade was invented. Godfrey was stuck  by his tongue to a nasty frozen pole , alone in the cold quite some time  until  old Murtagh the retired undertaker  took notice of his plight and threw a pan of cold dishwater on him, only making things worse.Finally Maria Tillapia, the local fish lady and her  daughter  Clementine  intervened, pouring warm fish broth  over his tongue ,gently freeing it. She dried his face with the rather dubious rag Murtagh provided  and sent him home with Miss Commerford the school nurse (she spits when she talks).

she had stopped to help disperse the crowd laughing at Godfrey.Godfrey had known and trusted the  good hearted Fish Lady for years, but  found it awkward  meeting  her daughter Clementine, who was beautiful  under such circumstances…. She gave him a packet of herring to take home to Ma. He did, and after the Tucks Super Haggis  Dinner , slipped two of the herring deep into Alice’s purse, for a surprise at a later date.

AND THE FIRST WISDOM OF GODFREY STATES- FROZEN POLES DO NOT TASTE LIKE LEMONADE AND OLDER SISTERS DO NOT KNOW  EVERYTHING.

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2 thoughts on “ALICES SUPER HAGGIS-The first wisdom of Godfrey, By Beatrice

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