FOR HE WOULD TALK TO ANYONE….TALK OF ANYTHING BUT BEETS-by BEATRICE.

Twas that last year of school, on one of Godfrey’s last trudges home. He kicked off his boots to squelch barefoot in mud, felt the first warmth of spring, saw the creek was in thaw.And from his art teacher Godfrey carried, one last note home to his grumpy Ma.

It read- Godfrey is bone idle, a day dreamer out the window, erratic in attendance, frequently producing nothing at all. He does a vivid imitation of a flock of sheep, being herded to market down the hall.  Please speak to him severely  regarding this assignment- STILL LIFE DRAWING WITH BEETS. He must complete or not return to my class in the fall..Miss Gloria Deetz.

Godfrey is indolent Miss Deetz complained again, he drew  a picture of all the beets in the world, and me being washed down a storm drain. Arthur Bosomsworth  was headmaster  he  had a posh house and a big car, and every statement that he uttered began “when I was a lad in the war”

Godfrey was happy sitting all day and drawing, he drew beets  hidden under a curtain, with a cloaked Magician and a glowing wand, one wave  and Miss Deetz and the beets were gone.

Mr Bosomsworth’s red nose reminded Godfrey of his dreaded Uncle Lou, he had about him a tired reek of  stale breath and hint of booze. I, Beatrice called him the”Grunting Garden Gnome”, he wore disturbing white shoes.

Godfrey was inept at art, Miss Deetz would  lean over his desk and fart, his impish sense of humor was all that got him through. So  this day amid the office morass, Arthur Bosomsworth  studied the surviving drawings of poor Godfrey’s art class.

“Explain your issue with beets now  please, why when I was a lad in the war, we oft ate beets for day and nothing more”   Miss Commerford the school nurse (she spits when she talks) looked over  his drawings with quiet pride, defending Godfrey when  he had been dragged inside.

Next time my dear the nurse spat, leaning way too close to where Godfrey sat, told him , always draw from imagination  and heart, draw the beets as you see beets to be, but in future Godfrey leave Miss Deetz here, do  not ship her off on the Titanic to sea. ..Godfrey agreed on the proviso, could he still ship off all the beets?

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