When it seemed from Godfrey’s letters,life was getting a bit serious, his penchant for blundering into ridiculous would make me feel better…Lobelia Inflata’s cabin was a humble hut on a wide gravel bay, Kiwi Bay.

A place where the ex-nun welcomed trampers, needing a dry place to stay. How do you ex-nun someone? Well this nun loved to laugh and pull pranks, a laughing nun is frowned upon, she was thrown out of church, without word or thanks.

Rakiura back in 1983, was as wild and remote as an island could be. Many travelers hitched on a fish boat to get there, many succumbed to the billious sea, to Rakiura this way over the nauseous waves, came the vagabond Godfrey.

Lobelia Inflata’s house rules were few- don’t wreck the place, share the sleeping space, and stay out of my forbidden loo.

New Zealand rain Godfrey reported. “was the wettest I ever found” That evening he sighed, as one more time he wrung his wet kilt out on the damp, muddy ground.

In Lobelia’s cramped cabin, 20 pairs of socks hung to dry caused an odorous fug. No where to sleep on the bunks or the sandy old rug. Three people shivered, having purloined the dog’s bed. The cabin was filled by tired souls to the brink, so Godfrey made himself a niche, cozy under the kitchen sink.

As for the mystery of a forbidden loo, he lay back and pondered why? He wondered if she was a nun who liked beets? “I do not like beets”, was his last thought, as Godfrey drifted into sweet sleep. He awoke to gurgling water, from a dream he was dreaming beside a clear stream, it was only someone washing their dishes, over his head and rinsing them clean.

The sun was out, trampers packed up to leave, as the eager are won’t to do. Ever curious Godfrey got up and stretched, and went seeking the forbidden loo.

Down a narrow path in the chest high grass, Godfrey boldly made his way, where Lobelia Inflata stood outside her outhouse, communing with the beauty of the new  day. Godfrey would talk to anyone, talk of anything but beets, so he asked the ex-nun, enjoying the sun why was this fine loo forbidden?

She said call it a dunny, long-drop or shrine, I open my cabin to all, but this loo with a view is all mine. Since you are an odd young man, brazen enough to ask I will show you behind.

Clever Lobelia  had rigged her loo, so with a tug on a rope, an intruder would fall through, deep in the poo!!

Godfrey stood in shock at the very thought, of what a nasty thing Lobelia would do. For a throne of her own, dump a tramper deep down the forbidden loo.

..Rakiura was  rough, paradise, a place Godfrey would long remember, he spent one day lost, neck deep in a swamp, and on sunny mornings shed his wet clothes and romp, over the dunes with the wind he would run.

There was so much beauty in every headland and view. But he took the long track round the island, to avoid the cabin in wide Kiwi Bay, oh trampers all, beware of the forbidden loo….


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