MARGO ALIVE (In a green quart jar) – From WORZEL

I use it to this day, as a paperweight, as a rain-bow charmer when the summer sun hits it at 2:00 in the afternoon, threaten my husband with if he complains of aching “thrips”. Among the small gifts left to me from Godfrey, on a shelf beneath his cherished painting- “The Buttocks”, a book, “My love was a Toreador”, and his Chupa street guitar…forever will be “Margo Alive” in a green, quart jar.

He was a magnet for tawdry bum-trinkets, loved the odder ice-cream flavors. Oh, and the velvet paintings, the mardy romance novels Godfrey gave me. He was very concerned though, one week early New Year, when I felt poorly. And though cautious of the health food store, “so many beet products he reported, “horrifying and bizarre” He was sold by a comely, young clerk in a smock, Margo Alive Tonic, in a green quart jar.

It was only a touch of a cold felled me, and a slight wheeze Godfrey called a “Flerd” in the chest. Garnet minded the shop so I could curl up in my turquoise chair, and simply rest. I read the label on the jar, that appeared to Godfrey , perhaps be “older than we are”. ..Margo Alive will help you laugh and love and thrive, in a week or several months you’ll feel brand new- highly effective for “Chill of The Liver”, contains Wild Icchen, has cured “Hives” and “Lady’s Unmentionables “since 1822”.   On the label , crudely rendered was a portrait, presumably of Margo, wearing nettercap as on her deathbed lay. On the reverse Margo frolicked with her Beau, in a field of flowers, vibrant,young, and gay. “Take 2 tablespoons, read Godfrey, 3 times a day”. It smelled like a concoction my stepmother, Mrs Gibberflat, mixed up for us to soak our feet. It contained extract of wild strawberry, no artificial color, no essence of beet, it was the last bottle the shop had to sell, Margo Alive promises to make you well. “Trust in life, spoons up said I, and swallowed the syrup down.

It flew right back up, as I leaned alone in our loo. Godfrey whispering outside the door, “Worzel dear, is the Margo alive helping you?.  It was more bitter than the worst tasting moth, more bitter than coal-tar soap after swearing, worse than squid ink or ground reptile scales could be.It burned my eyes, as I knelt by the toilet pan on one knee. “Worzel, he asked again through the door, has it lessened the wheeze”?. “Mow-Wallop, I drooled, ong tongued, paggle my throat, how it did quop. Slibber Sauce, Slibber Sauce, I took Margo Alive, and managed against all odds to survive. I let him in, Godfrey laughed so long, he lay on his side across the cold bathroom floor. “Shall I return the unused Margo alive to the Health Food store?

Margo Alive will make you laugh and love and thrive, in a week or several months you’ll feel brand new. Highly effective on all ailments “Scrubbado”..” Quenders” and the dreaded “Bronstops” rash, will no longer ever worry you.


4 thoughts on “MARGO ALIVE (In a green quart jar) – From WORZEL

  1. Indeed, he was, as described, he could sit a horse, he could dance, he loved without hesitation. No saint, for he disliked beets, but oh what a good true friend. Thanks for the read.

  2. So very funny. I laughed raucously at the loo scene, but I couldn’t say why it tickled me so beyond the visual it helped me create. My dad was a believer in such cures as Margo Alive; and though my mother scoffed and refused to let him doctor us with them, sometimes Bob and I would sneak into the bathroom and have a sample. Remembering how the potions tasted, I think we must have been quite hungry when young.

  3. My sister and I would compete who could be the more gross, I ate Kleenex and tinned dog food, she ate a Boullion Cube, and a whole jar of “Coffee Mate”. She was quite ill, and Ma dosed her with “Dr Fowler’s Extract of Wild Strawberry. My word, it was nasty. Things were getting too serious in blog-whirled, a return to nonsense roots, for your guffaw.

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