Godfrey’s elder sister, Alice, rarely showed interest in anything beyond her own”realm”. Thus, I was surprised in the delight Alice took in a postcard I had written her, the card pictured one of our “B.C.Ferries”, fording the calm Georgia Strait, towards the blue and white mountains of Vancouver Island. Alice demanded I send her anything I could about the ferries, as she had “only been on a ship that size in the dark”.  I mailed her off a packet, schedules, cafeteria menu, more gift shop post cards, an old photo of Godfrey, waving from the Promenade Deck of the “Queen of Tswassen”. I included the news paper report of a chap who leaped overboard once, and swam to shore, not wanting to miss a baseball game. I knew Alice would enjoy reading that he  “Injured his buttocks upon landing, and missed the game any way”. In return, Alice shared her, well, truly-Alice  poetry.  

   TEASING THE DOG-   Mrs Von Wackerbarth fancies she is my boss, every day bar Thursday brings her dog to the shoe store. It is ugly and old, cannot chew anymore, and sprawls in my way on it’s mat by the door. One day as I labored, alone in the back, I piled empty boxes on the dog as he slept. Never moving, I piled on the dog’s back quite a stack. All well, until someone rattled the dog food sack. Up, alert and awake, dashed ” Brownie” to the lunch room, where the bag was kept. One flung shoe-box broke the only window, I was buried neath a heap of debris..” teasing the poor dog”, Mrs Von Wackerbarth dared to accuse me!!.

TEN-THOUSAND EMPTIES-  Old Lloyd Knewit stood proudly in his door yard, waiting for the “Bin-Men” to come by. His many friends were  sitting  on the porch steps, drinking beer.   In the photo smiled Lloyd,” one thousand empty crates, are piled here.” “It is a photo I treasure, the joy and pleasure, of a harmless old sot, posing with pride”. “Six months supply, for my dear mates and I”- Quoth Lloyd Knewit, waiting with his recycling, when the news reporters happened by, ten thousand empties were stacked high.

GREAT BIG SPIDER-   I so enjoy my quiet room, where no one dares rap, on window or door to wake me from my beauty nap. I enjoy thinking up pranks and chaos, when relaxing under foam in bathtub deep. And I love knowing there is a very large spider, in my room, on the ceiling neath I sleep.

EATING SEAWEED IN THE CAR- My dear step-father, Arthur, was forced by advancing age to give up his posh car. I drive my parentals about now, with Arthur at my side, telling me how with a shout, yelling at each stoplight, waving his arms and cane about. He stomps the “imaginary brake”,yelling, “As a lad in the war I drove it all”. “I respond by eating crumbly seaweed snacks in the car, to drive old Arthur up the wall. I do not enjoy it, but the bits get in his tweed seats, and his whiskers if he sits in the back, we cheek each other, hear them griping at me from the street as we pass, Arthur Bosomsworth, and my dear grumpy mother.

BIRTHDAY CAKE-  Twas Godfrey and I, a year I well remember, we made our old Ma a cake for her birthday, 19th of November. We baked it in secret at the home of his friend, “Beatrice”‘, the goat girl, her mum was nice, made a real rose with a swirl, we ate frosting, and batter raw, Godfrey wrote on the cake top- Happy Birtday Akec four Ma. Home from neighbor’s house, my brother carried it proudly, small for his age, labeled a “Twit” Godfrey, halfway home tripped on the hem of his baggy old kilt, in a puddle of mud, and dropped our cake deep in it. Only the very top layer, I salvaged, as I plucked it and sobbing Godfrey out of the dirt. He feared a cuff on the head, but I left him unhurt, as he was my small brother. Nothing was ever said of the bent, lopsided cake…a ” birtday akec”for our mother… FRom Alice.

5 thoughts on “KEEPING IN TOUCH WITH ALICE- From Worzel

  1. Such a pleasure to read each of Alice’s poems. My personal favorite, of course, was the last which featured Godfrey, my favorite, whose heart is so sweet and whose efforts sometimes go astray. I’m glad Alice didn’t cuff him and rescued the the top layer.

    • Thanks Janet- Alice rarely showed her soft side, but it was normal for her to fish Godfrey out of the mire, and he seldom cried. We to, made appalling cakes for our Ma when young, my best effort had lumps of cooked egg white in the frosting…yum.

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